Not-So-Subtle Signs You Might Be A TwitAddict

If you have ever tweeted while parallel parking, you might be a TwitAddict

If you have ever tweeted during a pelvic exam, you might be a TwitAddict

If you have ever tweeted during a colonoscopy, you might be a TwitAddict

If you have ever tweeted in a bidet, you might be a TwitAddict

If you have ever tweeted while nursing a baby, you might be a TwitAddict

If you have ever tweeted while changing a personal diaper, you might be a TwitAddict

If you have ever tweeted while inserting/removing a rectal thermometer, you might be a TwitAddict

If you have ever tweeted while a cop wrote you a traffic ticket, you might be a TwitAddict

If you have ever tweeted while your wife gave birth, you might be a TwitAddict

If you have ever tweeted while hanggliding or flying a plane, you might be a TwitAddict

If you have ever tweeted while unblocking a toilet, you might be a TwitAddict

If you have ever tweeted during a funeral procession, you might be a TwitAddict

If you have ever tweeted while putting on a condom, you might be a TwitAddict

If you have ever tweeted during oral sex, you might be a TwitAddict

As always, apologies to Jeff Foxworthy...

Bit.ly: http://bit.ly/4EItD7

The Top Twelve Signs You Might Be A Twitaddict

Twitaddiction or Twitaddict: The unfortunate portmanteau of Twitter or tweet and addiction. (1) You might be a twitaddict if you find yourself tweeting every day of the week.
(2) You might be a twitaddict if you find yourself tweeting every trending topic that you twead.
(3) You might be a twitaddict if you find yourself defining new words based on trending topics in Twitter (Like these guys...sigh).
(4) You might be a twitaddict if you find yourself debating whether twitaddict has 2 t's or 3.
(5) You might be a twitaddict if you find yourself tweeting while incarcerated.
(6) You might be a twitaddict if you find yourself giving up booze, beer and wine for Twitter.
(7) You might be a twitaddict if you find yourself tweeting and driving.
(8) You might be a twitaddict if you plan your day's activities around Twitter.
(9) You might be a twitaddict if the kids are late for school because you were on Twitter.
(10) You might be a twitaddict if you tweeted all day and got no work done at the job!
(11) You might be a twitaddict if you tweet in the restroom.
(12) You might be a twitaddict if you 'manage your brand' on Twitter, even though you don't have one...
Apologies to Jeff Foxworthy...

Bit.ly: http://bit.ly/5Bz1qf

FOM: Results for #twitaddict on Twitter.

Please note: This posting appears simultaneously on our sister publication, The Anti-Zen Dictionary.

Zwitter

Image licensed under Creative Commons by cjc4454

Zwitter: http://bit.ly/LhQV1 The portmanteau of zen and Twitter. The discussion of zen on Twitter. Can you describe all reality and time in a single tweet?





"Related": Zwitterion


FOM: Collective Subconscious.2 , Zen to Go (Google Books) and Tweality.

Tweality

Image licensed under Creative Commons by turtlemom4bacon

Tweality: http://bit.ly/2L2DI7 The fortunate (?) portmanteau of tweet and reality. The 'expansion' of one's reality via one's experience with a larger mass of consciousness on Twitter or other form of collective medium. In other words, its not about all those talking heads on the tube or talk radio!

FOM: Collective Subconscious.2.

Please Note: This posting appears simultaneously on our sister publication, The Anti-Zen Dictionary.

This Is Not a Posting - Impossible Tweets

Image licensed under Creative Commons by Clifford Stoll and Wikipedia
On bit.ly: http://bit.ly/25vUEM

'Impossible Tweets' Posted on Twitter today:

This is not a tweet.

This tweet is false.

This tweet is not here.

This tweet does not exist.

.sdrawkcab ton si teewt sihT

This tweet was deleted.

This tweet is not emotionally satisfying.

This tweet will not appear until tomorrow.

This tweet will not appear today.

Posting Monday, November 2, 2009.

This tweet is a fragment.

This tweet is not a fragment.

This is a retweet.

This tweet is untrue.

This tweet is wrong.

Posting Updated Tuesday, November 10, 2009

This tweet is fake.

This tweet is not real.

This tweet is meaningless.

This tweet is factual.

This tweet is not in English.

This tweet is in French.

This is impossible.

This tweet is too long.

This tweet is illogical. (Attributed to Mr. Spock).

This tweet is not in the timeline.

This tweet is not factual.

This is a previous tweet.

Updated Sunday, November 15, 2009:

100 years from now...this tweet won't be here...

Updated Tuesday, November 16, 2009:

This tweet is random. (Apologies to Brent Spiner).

Updated Thursday, December 10, 2009:

Define normal.

Where is the universe?

The Paradox of Twitter - Does your tweet have a noumenon?

Phwitter or Sophister? http://bit.ly/5hWjyu The portmanteaus of philosophy and Twitter. Which is the more appropriate? The former, being the joining of love (philo) and twitter - or the latter, being the joining of knowledge (sophia) and twitter.

Updated Sunday, December 13, 2009:

This tweet is real.

This tweet is not real.

Phenomena are not real - only noumena are real.

This tweet is a noumenon.

This tweet is a phenomenon.

This tweet is zen.

This tweet is not zen.

This tweet is not.

This tastes like zen.

It tastes like zen, it walks like zen, it looks like zen, but it is not zen.

FOM: Rene Magritte, Klein Bottle , Douglas R. Hofstadter,

Gödel, Escher, Bach: an Eternal Golden Braid (ISBN 0-465-02656-7) and Self-Referential.